It's Ok Not to Feel Ok

        So I was planning for my next post to be Wild Women Part 2 (don't worry that's coming soon)– but then something happened that I wanted to talk about..

 

I had a bad day. Not a two or three things go wrong and you feel shit for 5 minutes bad day, a I didn’t want to speak to anyone, everything felt on top of me, sobbing all evening bad day. And I realised something… that it was ok, I survived. Everyone has days like that, no one is perfect, no one has an ideal life.

I was furious with myself that I let stuff get on top of me and I wasn’t doing everything ‘perfectly’. I perceived that because I’d made a mistake and then let my anxiety about that control me that I’d failed somehow. I’ve never been the best at putting things into perspective and this experience was no different. But a day is just that – a day. There’s always another day, another chance to learn from your mistakes (however annoying and or painful that might be).

I was meant to swim – I didn’t. I was meant to write – I didn’t. And that’s ok, as long as I don’t give up on those things forever and I try again tomorrow.

What I did however was soak up the massive love and support which is around me. Within minutes people who care about me deeply had listened and more importantly brought me yummy desert…

I’m very lucky - people rallied round me like troopers – and that’s for life, not just a day.

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Make Your Addiction You and Your Wellness..

                   Back in the day the word addiction was reserved for drugs or alcohol or people in dependent relationships. Now it’s a different story - we’re at a unique time in life where a large number of millennials are addicted to their devices/social media. This means that we’re embedded with addictive patterns and personalities by default, but there’s nothing to say you can’t use this type of personality for good… If we use these addictive tendencies and turn them on working on ourselves the results could be amazing..

 

 

·         Treat yourself how you would your mum or your best friend. Simply put – want the best for yourself and treat yourself with love, respect and kindness

·         Carve out specific time for yourself to just read or swim or do whatever relaxes you or helps you switch off

·         Realise what you deserve from life and plan how to get it

·         Take your own advice – you wouldn’t tell a friend to stay in a job she hated for example, you wouldn’t think she deserved that, so why do you?

·         Use your commute to your advantage – I wish I’d done this when I had a long commute – but try and read a book or listen to some of your favourite music and zone out.

·         Make your addiction to your phone work for you and support you in organisation or with some mindfulness apps

·         Your diet/exercise matters - again it’s much easier to want a friend to feel great about themselves and I control of what they eat and when they work out – it took me years to want this for myself as well..

Remember – you are worth your own love and time even if it doesn’t always feel that way…

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Anxiety in the Workplace and How to Manage

                     So generally I think it’s really important to talk about mental health in the workplace. I can only speak for myself but my work place anxiety is very specific – I have a deep rooted fear of messing up, being fired or generally being told I’m not good enough. I can even remember my first job – just working behind the tills at a shop, I would be terrified to give someone the wrong change or not clean an area properly after the shop closed.

It’s very physical for me. Like if I’m physically away from something or someone I don’t think it can hurt me so I avoid people and situations I don’t think I can deal with. My symptoms are also very physical such as shaking and feeling like I'm going to throw up. As you can imagine, this doesn’t work very well for meetings or bosses who sit right next to you… and productivity can massively suffer too making you feel even worse – talk about vicious circle.

It’s easy to feel all of the below..

“It’s all going to go wrong”

“I’m not meant to be here”

“My boss is going to shout at me”

But the good news is there’s small ways to overcome these thoughts which can lead to big change! Speaking to your boss, doing breathing exercise at your desk and having a proper lunch all help. Also trying to really focus on the below positive mantras:

Affirmations – changing your thought patterns:

“I am meant to be here”

“You’re doing it just right”

“I’m in control”

Trying to really stay in control and top of your workload helps, lists and regularly checking in with your boss is great for this. Buy some nice stationery with some inspirational quotes and keep it at your desk for motivation!

Drink lots of water – always have some at your desk and have a proper breakfast – fruit/ porridge for example!

A support system of colleagues is also vital to make work that bit more fun and pull you out a rut or a low period if you feel like you’re in one. This also makes you feel much less alone which lovely. On that topic… you’re not alone at all, so many people suffer with imposter syndrome at work or get stressed or depressed at work and struggle to organise themselves and feel overwhelmed.

Try and constantly remind yourself of things you did well and times when you and boss have got on really well and really hold on any positive feedback to get you through the lower times.

And lastly – the most important one SWITCH THE F OFFLINE AFTER WORK! This one took me years to learn but it’s so important. The only way you will give your all at work is if you’ve re charged your batteries fully and gone off emails and everything.

Good luck – and go forth and be a boss man/woman – you can do it!!!

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