Here Comes The Sun (do do do dooo)

 

              I used to be a winter gal. I think when I was younger the lure of Christmas and my birthday in winter and the magic of all the lights everywhere and long cozy evenings won me over. But the older I got my ‘fresh start’ tended to be April and the Spring / Summer started to become my favorite time of year.

I think this maybe has something to do with the long history of amazing Easter holidays in my family – the start of the year can be a bit bleak so growing up my parents always made sure we had a break for Easter – either abroad or in our favourite hotel in Dorset. I can remember thinking that once that happened the year had properly started! (Ah to be young and able to while away 3 months of every year…)

I’ve found, particularly the last couple of years that by the end of the year I’m burnt out and want to change something significant about my life (see last post on changes) then it takes me the first few months of the year to sort out exactly what I want to change and how I’m going to do it. By the time the start of summer kicks in I’m usually quite settled in a routine and that’s how I stay – until the end of the year when I review everything and the whole above process starts again.

As I’ve mentioned before I’m a huge festival fan and obviously these primarily happen in the summer months. I’m going to Glastonbury for the first time in a little while this year and cannot wait! Most of my life has been spent in places where there’s lots of general fun stuff to do in summer as well. Brighton where I grew up obviously has the beach walks and South Downs as well as the bars and cafes and London has the lure of the museums and galleries and general culture (rooftop bars, outdoor cinemas etc.) – the V&A pool outside in the summer is one of my happy places.

Who knows if it’s the longer evenings, cider and prosecco or outdoor markets that have done it but since becoming a Londoner I’ve definitely found the true benefit of spending the summer in the city…

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Changes

 

       I’m a proper stickler for keeping things as they are. I hate change. Hate hate hate it. So much so I’ve kept myself in situations I know aren’t right for me for way longer than I should have because I was scared of things changing or feeling like I’d failed or being judged for changing something without a perceived good enough reason. I thought I’d have a chat about really checking in with yourself about your current life set up and necessity for change and how to deal with that.

 

 

I feel like I’ve said this is in a post before but it bears repeating – no one lives your life every day and wakes up and does what you do. So make sure you’re doing what makes you happy not worrying about keeping everyone else happy and doing what’s expected of you. I went through a stage when I was 18 of waking up and feeling immediately happy and fulfilled and blasting music whilst I did my hair and make up – that act alone signified my good mood. Ever since then I’ve tried to hold myself accountable to that level of happiness and try and make sure I’m doing what I need to do to achieve that.

I honestly believe that putting change off can leave lasting damage – don’t wait for other people to instigate change in your life because they won’t – it’s up to you. People will let you stay in a damaging situation if it benefits them and you need to be prepared to stand up for what you want and need. If you stay in a situation which is making you miserable on a daily basis then psychologically this takes its toll. It also says that you don’t care about yourself enough to take yourself out of said situation.

The most important message of this post is deploy constant self life-evaluation. I guess the big three are usually home, relationship and job. Obviously it’s not practical to switch these up every few weeks (the life admin… THE LIFE ADMIN!!!) but probably worth checking in with yourself every 6 months or so to evaluate not how much you’re making or how much you go out or stay in or how many hours you work but instead if you’re happy, fulfilled and making enough time for you. Be honest with yourself about what you need and how you can make it happen.

Don’t lose yourself in other people. That goes for both other people’s opinion and getting lost in the lifestyle of a partner or a best friend. As a close friend of mine always says “you do you babe” and it’s so true. Surround yourself with people who support your happiness – not their version of what you should be doing.

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The Power of Silence

     
       Throughout the last week or so the universe has been pulling me in the direction of silence, so I thought I’d use this blog post to explore the rarity and importance of calm and silence in this modern world where we all go at a million miles an hour! 

So I live in London, which is wonderful for many reasons (culture, eating out) – with silence and calm not necessarily being at the top of the list. Don’t get me wrong, there are places you can go (Greenwich for example) which are a bit quieter and have some nice walks, but on the whole living and working in central London is not conducive to inner calm and silence. There’s a wider debate here around city life versus country life, but that’s for another blog post and another time.

The first thing that forced me into calm and silence was a trip into the beautiful Yorkshire moors. The other half and I booked a cottage to get away from London life and see how the country lot live for a few days, and it was a huge eye opener. We woke up on our first morning with no people or even other buildings in sight and it was such a rare treat. The only noise to be heard was the occasional bleating of sheep. We spent the whole of Saturday rambling and it was glorious – the weather held out for a whole 6 hours, and boy did we make the most of it! It really pulled me out of my London fug and reminded me how important it is to just get away from it all for a while. However, the trip was not without its challenges for this city girl – namely a short but very treacherous trip in pitch darkness to meet the take away deliveryman, who incidentally had no idea where we were staying or how to find us. 

The next thing that forced me to just switch off and turn to silence was a horrible burst eardrum on my return from the holiday. I’ll spare you the gory details but it wasn’t fun, and I couldn’t be around any noise at all for a whole day – so reading it was. I read some great books and really just reveled in the silence and surrendered to it. All in all I ended up being in quiet surroundings for about 6 days in a row for the first time in what feels like a million years. It was a bit unnerving at first but it really gave me some inner calm and peace, and I felt properly refreshed at the end. 

Sometimes our lives are lived at such a fast pace that we need to force ourselves (or be forced) to chill for a few and properly switch off! Give it a try – especially if you live in a big bustling city!  :)    

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